Virtual Reality

Last week I had three friends, all unacquainted, ask the same questions on a topic that continues to be in the centre of my thoughts, each and every day. It was about Japan. It seems nearly two years after my return from a life less ordinary, I still can't get it out of my system. I won't let myself, nor will the people around me. Little do they know I'm grateful, for without their questions, I only have myself to remind of those things that now seem surreal. Leading a conventional life post-Japan requires conformity, acceptance and a good pair of running shoes to stay in this rat race that rewards you with four weeks of annual leave, office politics, and RSI.

Memories. déjà vu? A photo. A smell. A familiar word. A sound.

It doesn't take much to flash me back to that place and that time where I was living in the most advanced virtual reality - one that lasted a year - one that returned me a different person. I've learned, the hard way, to internalise these thoughts until that opportune question is presented to me. There was once a time when I beguiled myself into believing that anyone with a functioning set of ears would suffice as a suitable audience to all my chin-wagging. I was desperately bubbling over with more to say than I had words for. How to get an audience? I tried the photo presentations, the bribery dinners, the long roadtrips with no escape. But in the end, where was the satisfaction that I thought would ensue? My stories fell on many a deaf, disinterested ear. It's ok. You can't impose your life on someone else. You were never meant to verbalise that moment when you sat at the edge of the world, feeling never surer that Heaven had descended on that very place. You have to let it be. You can't define something that won't be defined and cannot be encapsulated by words. Words will simply confine it. Or worse, change it. Let it be. Set it free.

Found some old emails I sent to family & friends whilst I was in Japan. They were just sitting in an old inactive email account, so i've decided to post them up on my blog. If it's not your thing, you've been warned! ^_^ I'll keep them generally in their original form to maintain their authenticity, censoring only certain 'explicit' details. So yup, read at own will.