Heart on Canvas

"The canvas. Why do I look at it? Every minute - I steal a glance, then turn away. Am I ashamed? It's nothing spectacular, but i take another peek anyway. It's the faceless girl with the red hat and red dress. It's the way she's sitting, knees together and feet apart, relaxed and sure, that reminds me of something familiar. Something familiar, or something I desire? Her figure. Her curly long black tresses thrown to the wind. The dog she's patting. The iron-cast table on which her elbow leans and her fingers in the air. The purple building behind her with the black-rimmed windows and creeping greens that stream over the window sills. An archway that leads...to an indeterminate place."

Was it a random thought that manifested onto canvas? Look again. Look carefully.

As my eyes catch the worthless painting again, my subconscious unravels its secrets. The girl with the perfect body. Dark voluminous curls. The things I desire of myself. The street scene. The buildings behind her. I'd like to think it represents Europe, or at least a warped version. The windows especially, one opened. That's my room. This is somewhere I'd like to be, at least once in my life. To wake up to the dancing aromas of brewing fresh coffee from the little cafe downstairs. My alarm the sounds of a fiddler playing to the passer-bys. It's Sunday morning, and the streets are alive. Downstairs. From where I live. In the purple building. The dog. The scruffy friend I've never had but have so longed for. Sassafras. A scruffy sounding name for a scruffy dog I'm yet to have.

I started painting yesterday afternoon after yet another unfulfilling trip to yet another monstrous shopping centre filled with shameless excuses for consumerism. The lack of mental stimulation ate me up whole and spat me out in frustrated pieces. In the end, it was one of my simplest childhood delights that brought peace back to me, a kind that only art can provide. Here's hoping my first affair with the canvas with be an exciting, but lasting one.

And may dreams come true....