Latest & Unfinished

'Twas the day before my birthday, and was having one of those 'oh gosh time's running out i wanna do all these things while i'm still 24' or 'wouldn't it be somethin' to say i did this from age 24 to 25' moods, so i took the spare piece of blank canvas (15" x 30") and started painting. This is a W-I-P, but it's showing up... here it is before I make a fatal paintstroke...

Feddish for Good Food & Good Company...

The Invitation:

Thank you so much Linda, Sandra, Charmaine, Chien, CC, Rich, Elen & Johnny (& Gav) for celebrating my birthday with me! Hope you enjoyed the entrees and the mains cos' I sure did! Mmmm...how about that Peking Duck Risotto! Oo La La...;)

And for all the gorgeous presents too! Love 'em love 'em!

Lin, San, CC & Rich: I'm only just starting to pay more attention to sleepwear so it's perfect! So cute too! Will sleep and think of all four of you...;P

Chien: Impeccable taste, as usual. Gorgeous mix of colours - can't wait to wear them!

Elen & Johnny: Perfect for the new place! And smells divine too...thank you! ^_^ I've already put it in the bedroom...;P

Charmaine: You have NO idea how much care my nails need...(it's quite an embarrassment, actually)...here's to gorgeous nails from now on! thank you!

ALSO

Serena: Pink. How did you guess? ;P Love it! Thanks heaps, sweety! p.s. Munching on the cookies now as i write this...

Ange: I opened it and thought: 'This girl read my mind!' How did you know I'd been wanting a fondue set!? I've been procrastinating for so long, but voila! You've gotten it for me. Thank you!! Guess what we're having at girls' night!??

SMS/Email/Phone Birthday Greetings!

Thank you so much to all the lovely, thoughtful people in my life....

Mark Lim, Mark Chin, Ivy, Sean, Siew Yen, Sher Li, Sher Ai, David Chan, Shao Mei, James, Belinda, Sher Wi, Lin Lee, Charleston, Aunty Ching, Dad/Mum

So ends the era of Under-24s. It's been one day since I turned 25 and the Earth doesn't seem to want to swallow me up yet. Guess there's hope still! Looking forward the bigger, grander things, to blue skies and more mango smoothies, to blissful love and cool plans, and especially, happy happy days. Here's to the mid-20s!

The End of an Era - Part II

Then, whilst I was still in a deep state of brooding and this time causing a real headache unto myself, I received a phone call from Reception at 2pm. Hey Joni, there's a delivery here for you!


Gee, someone's in a nice and chirpy mood! Must be the Brisbane office. Did i leave something behind? Wonder what it is...


And what should I find waiting at the Reception but the most gorgeous, spirit-uplifting, bouquet of long-stemmed roses from my darling mr. roo. with the message...

Oh, but they were so beautiful...

At a time I really needed a little niceness, just a little something special that acknowledges 'yes, it's my birthday today', mr. roo came through for me & took my tears away. It wasn't that I needed 2-dozen roses to make things better (though it certainly helps!) but i was spiralling into an unexplainable sadness, and with impeccable timing, his hands reached out and pulled me back up. The day could only get better...^_^

Back at home that night, I was still smiling....

The End of an Era - Part I

In recent years, the days leading up to this date have been filled with an excitement that blurs really into more pravalent moments of anxiety, nostalgia, doubt and denial.


Am i old? No, not really. Have i done enough? Done heaps from last year to this year. Am I afraid? Hmm...perhaps. But what of?


I couldn't say. I just get so progressively glum and grey that when the day finally arrives, it has escalated into sudden bursts of tears. This day is mine and if no other day can be special, can't I just have one day that is?


I took it pretty bad this year. This year more than any other. I was silently brooding, weaving a net of negativity to blanket over me to keep me safe and sad. I was beyond comfort and common sense.


Put simply, I was just not ready to turn 25.


Usually, having to go to work on your birthday is the fly that kamikazes into your freshly whipped chocolate mix. On my 23rd birthday whilst still in Japan, I took the morning off work, and woke up slowly. Went to a cafe for a breakfast sandwich and hot chocolate, took photos of my food (birthday food), took photos of myself (birthday face), then went into work. For some strange reason, it turned out well! But I never did it again for both my 24th and 25th birthday. Big mistake.


Everytime I saw or wrote today's date, tears would well up in my eyes. I was balancing on a shaky, emotional wire and failing quickly. Read an email. cry. Answer a phonecall. cry.


They already take every single day of my life from me, why should they take my birthday as well!? Then it hits me. Why did you let them? I was perhaps more upset with myself than with other people, for not making my own day special for myself. Heck, I'm here already. What excuse can you make for yourself? Plus it's a Friday, who wouldn't be in a 'I have a headache, I have to leave early' mood?


Some birthday this is turning out to be...

Loving Nights Like These...

for mr. roo, if you're reading this...

Perhaps it seems a little ironic that we're virtually inseparable on most days, but on a day like today, we're more than a thousand kilometres apart. I was at an airport by sunrise, at a workshop all day, and it was only at dinner this evening that I am finally reminded of Valentine's Day's customary happenings. Tables for two. Beachfront dining. Romantic strolls along Cronulla Beach. Scrunched up bouquet of pink roses. Light brushing of the cheeks and stealing kisses on the street.

Dear Valentine, although you and I are unable to join the rest of the world in this universal day of love & romance, I have no real reason to sulk. Neither do I feel cheated of this day, nor do I intend to insist on a belated celebration of a greater fold. Out of character, I know!

It's not because i'm jaded. Or cynical. And it's certainly not because i'm so profoundly practical, as i'm sure you already realised.

But it is because, Dear Valentine, you've kept every promise you made to me. My doubts are banished and my fears have been replaced with a content I know only now. Thus, every day with you, quite literally, is already Valentine's Day.

The rest of the world can have their one Day today, as long as I can have you on all other days. Deal?

Love you many, mr. roo....xoxoxo...can't wait to see you tomorrow...

All Girls' Only Chinese New Year Nite

What's Chinese New Year without Chinese girls? Click the hung-bao for more cute Asianas…^_^ Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Apartment as at Today

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." The journey to a clean and ambient apartment begins with the living room. The journey so far:

Look out for photos of the 2nd step! Fingers crossed that'll be soon!

Already February ~ missing you all...

After an undisclosable amount of shopping in Hong Kong, 600 photos in Cambodia, and many an angpow later, I'm now back in Melbourne. Melbourne? Did I use to live here? Where's mum?

Struggled through two days at work, and Praise the Lord it's finally the weekend. It's almost an unbearable injustice that work doesn't allow you to fully grief the end of your holidays.

I'm still grieving. My mind is elsewhere, and my body rejects its being in Melbourne. I'm doing all the same things I used to do, but nothing feels the same anymore. Or at least, not yet. I'm so homesick that if I let it, it could probably hurt me.

Perhaps one consolation I'm granted is that I now have some things in perspective.

I never want to be too far away from my family and the people I love. Let it be that i'm reciting the greatest cliche in history, but I've strangely never been more certain that I love my family, and love them just the way they are.

For some time now, i had believed that I was an independant and capable individual, whose strength was unbreakable and exclusively created by myself. How foolish could I have been for not realising that, all this time I had in fact co-existed with my family despite being continents apart, my very happiness tied in with theirs, my smile only if they do, and that my strength and will for life was only possible for as long as they were with me.

Miss you all, cherish you forever, and proud to be your daughter, granddaughter, cousin and niece.